The Quest for More Paper!!
by dusty windsheared
Summary: If they had an insane genre, this would be it. And then some. Laguna is almost out of paper!! Whatever is he going to DO??! Includes a special guest appearance by Barry Burton!! ^_^


*Twilight Zone theme* Dodo-dodo-dodo-dodo…another piece of insanity!! Be afraid!! Be VERY afraid!!!  
  
I wrote this in math class, when there were only two sheets of paper left in my notebook. I was sad. And so I just started to write things down! I like this thing because Barry Burton (from Resident Evil) guest-stars with Uncle Laguna. And there's a lot of yelling. Enjoy!  
  
Disclaimer: I don't own Laguna-san, and I don't own Barry either. I like both of them a lot, even though I make fun of them. So don't get mad at me! Barry Burton belongs to Capcom, and Laguna belongs to Squaresoft. Office Max owns itself or something.  
  
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"Oh my god! I'm running out of paper!!" Laguna screamed shrilly.  
  
Thus, it began. The legendary  
  
QUEST FOR MORE PAPER!  
  
* insert a big title screen here, because in that notebook, I really did draw a big title screen…it looks like a piece of paper with random doodlings on it…*  
  
written by…ME!! *Khehehe…*  
  
Laguna ran frantically around in circles, which, of course, did nothing to better the situation. After realizing this (15 minutes later), Laguna froze in place.  
  
"It's not going to work!!" he cried. Suddenly, he looked hopeful. "I know!" he said. "I'll go to BARRY!" *fanfare*  
  
The president of Esthar leaped into his car (literally – he jumped out the window and landed in his convertible), hitting the gas and going nowhere.  
  
"Dammit! I forgot the keys inside!" Laguna yelled, breaking his 'no swearing' rule, but ignoring it. He jumped out of his car, not bothering to open the door, and dashed back into the house.  
  
Laguna searched around fruitlessly for several hours (the Presidential Residence is HUGE), finally giving up and sitting on the cactus he mistook for a chair.  
  
"Yowch!"  
  
By now, Laguna had forgotten why he even needed his keys in the first place. He wanted a piece of gum. Digging in his pocket, he found…  
  
"My keys!" the raven-haired one smiled in relief. "Whew. I thought I lost them." He put them on the key hook near the door, drifting back into his study, intent on writing a memo to himself about his keys being by the door. And to fix his window. To his complete and utter surprise, he found that there was ALMOST NO PAPER LEFT!  
  
"Oh, no! I'll go pick some up RIGHT NOW!! From…BARRY!" *more fanfare*  
  
This time, thanks to his marvelous memo-writing skills, Laguna remembered his keys by the door and got into his convertible, firing it up and speeding down the road.  
  
When he arrived at Barry's house, he got out of the car and ran inside.  
  
"BARRY!" he called.  
  
Barry Burton, the big, dense cop, was standing right there.  
  
"Yeah?"  
  
"I need PAPER! It's an emergencyyyyyy." Laguna clenched his fists.  
  
"Sorry," Barry replied. For some reason, I imagine him standing there and toweling out glasses like some barkeep or something. Yeah. So let's just say he IS doing that! Barry rubbed the towel on the outside of the glass. "I only deal in bloodspots."  
  
Laguna's brow creased. "Bloodspots?"  
  
Barry gasped and the glass was dropped to the floor, shattering and cutting Barry, which dripped some blood onto the floor. "Bloodspots?!" The man asked, frantic. "Where?!" He glanced at his feet and sucked in a breath at the small spot of blood on the floor.  
  
Laguna blinked.  
  
"What…what is this?" Barry asked, ever serious, crouching down.  
  
"…blood?" Laguna replied, not sure if he was supposed to answer or not.  
  
"It looks like…blood. Maybe it's…CHRIS' blood."  
  
Laguna frowned. Barry continued, never once looking up.  
  
"I'll stay here and examine this. Laguna, why don't you go have a look around."  
  
Laguna backed away a few steps, perplexed, then turned to let himself out. If he remembered correctly, another place that dealt paper was OFFICE MAX! *fa – *  
  
"WAIT!!" Barry cried, hand forward in warning. Laguna looked at him, already grasping the doorknob.  
  
"What?"  
  
"Don't open that door!"  
  
Laguna didn't know WHY he shouldn't open the door. I mean, he had just come IN through it…  
  
He opened the door wide, Barry screamed, and nothing happened. Whee. What a ride.  
  
Laguna left and drove over to OFFICE MAX! *fanfare*  
  
Stepping inside, he looked around in wonder. There were SO MANY COMPUTERS! The paper problem slipping his mind for the time being, he dazedly walked around and poked at everything that caught his eye, causing several small explosions and one large explosion, but nobody asked him to leave because, well, he was the PRESIDENT.  
  
After he was satisfied with what he had done, Laguna remembered why he came to OFFICE MAX! *fanfare* in the first place.  
  
"Oh yeah, I need some PAPER because we're almost out!" Stealthily, Laguna snuck into the paper section and snatched a package of paper. Eyes darting back and forth, he tip-toed over to the cash registers, paid the nice lady, and ran out to his car.  
  
"TRIUMPH!" he shouted, zipping back to the Presidential Residence.  
  
When he got home, he wrote memos and ate ice cream and lived happily ever after.  
  
THE END!  
  
That was SO pathetic…oh well! r/r, please! -DK 


End file.
